Weed in…Movie Theaters 2018?

When Jimmy Kimmel’s obnoxious shtick walked into a movie theater with a cadre of Oscars attendees at last night’s Academy Awards ceremony, he remarked on the pungent smell of weed wafting from the audience.

Maybe it was yet another of the evening’s excessive barrage of throwaway jokes, but it actually does conform to a phenomenon — trend? — I’ve experienced of late; on three separate occasions, someone in a theater has straight lit up a joint during a movie, usually near the end.

First off, I swear it wasn’t me. As much as I’d love to be, I ain’t that reckless.

Secondly, I can’t say for sure if they were smoking glass or paper; I never actually see the offender. The stench of burning weed is just a dead giveaway, which is why I’m sure it’s not a vape (trust me, I know the difference).

But finally, my favorite part — besides the fact that I obviously condone all smoking anywhere — is that the other people in the theater DIDN’T GIVE A FUUUUUUUUUU. They clearly registered the scent — as evidenced by the audible murmurs/scoffs/laughs to themselves/each other — before shrugging it off and returning their attention to the movie, as if nothing out of the ordinary just happened. Gotta love New Yorkers.

This, while one time in San Diego I was almost arrested for literally doing nothing.

You see, I tend to loosen my belt before taking my seat in a theater to avoid flab uncomfortably hanging over my waistband while sitting. On this fateful day, the theater happened to be pitch-black, so I turned on a flashlight after rearranging my belt to make sure my fat ass hit cushion and not ground.

A few minutes later, an old woman in my row walks out. About an hour after that, two cops roll in and take me outside. Turns out, the biddy saw me fooling around with something around my waist, was startled by the flashlight — so much that she didn’t know what it was — and figured better safe than sorry: report someone who might pull another Aurora.

You think my weed-friendly New York audience would’ve overreacted like that?

Would that same woman snitch on the aforementioned east coast tokers?

Which world would you rather live in?

This shit just got real.

10 thoughts on “Weed in…Movie Theaters 2018?

  1. Eric Slora

    I’m more stuck on the whole weird let-them-eat-hot-dogs vibe. I like Kimmel…and this moment had ITS moments (the chaos was funny), but really…not loving the Hollywood-visits-the-poor angle.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. While I have no objection to anyone smoking weed, I do object to being basically locked in a room with them because the distinctive sick sweet smell makes me ill. Most of the time, I just leave a room in order to find air. A movie theater does not allow that luxury other than demanding the return of money. So if you are saying the New Yorkers you know are rude and insufferably self centered enough to impinge on the comfort of others, I would agree.

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    1. For the record, I don’t know these smokers! I didn’t mind sharing a room with them for obvious reasons, but I also wouldn’t have minded if someone had told them to cut it out (which I think would’ve been a better alternative to ratting them out to the powers that be). Maybe one day smoking-friendly screenings will return for those who’d like to indulge…a boy can dream.

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      1. Most of my relatives indulge so they know about my quirk. How about private membership only clubs…. lol. Start a chain of theaters. If you can eat and drink why not smoke with the the like minded.

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          1. Speak to the casino magnates. They manage to have smoking sections as well as selling tobacco on Reservations. Start with the native Americans in already approved casual use states. The Feds aren’t allowed to interfere on reservation lands without an invitation. … Might have to juggle some laws, but it does seem a natural match.

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