Since The Lightning Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical – based on a popular young adult book series – is now going on tour, my belated thoughts on its New York City engagement at the Lucille Lortel Theatre earlier this year have become relevant once more:

The Lightning Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical wastes a moderately-quality score thanks to the rest of the show’s condescending pandering typical of teenage-friendly fare.

Before the brigade of child-defenders charges at me with their “IT WASN’T MADE FOR YOU; IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN” arguments, let me remind you that The Lion King – the most lucrative live property in the history of humanity, AND one of my favorite Broadway productions of all time – satisfies kids and families alike, thus the reason it deserves the moniker of a “family-friendly affair.”

Perhaps “family-friendly” wouldn’t be considered a genre portent of doom for sophisticated/elitist audiences (your preferred descriptive adjective here is merely a matter of perspective) if adult artists stopped treating young audiences like neanderthals who only understand THE MOST OBVIOUS, lowest-common-denominator forms of entertainment.