Double Features

Back to my favorite gimmick: imagined double features!

This iteration’s duos come courtesy of movies that have played New York City theaters recently.

Pair Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard with The Departed for a “WORST MASSHOLE ACCENT DUEL: JACK NICHOLSON VS. FRANK GRILLO” double feature.

Pair Mars Attacks! with A Quiet Place for an “inhuman creature’s Earthly invasion felled by nothing more than artificially-manipulated sound-waves” double feature.

Pair Gaia with Fantastic Fungi for a “ARE MUSHROOMS GOOD OR EVIL???” double feature.

Pair the shearly (natch) delightful Serial Mom with A Clockwork Orange for a “depraved use of wholesome show-tunes” double feature.

Pair Luca with top-five-underrated-Broadway-musical-of-the-century Legally Blonde (obligatory reminder that Bridges of Madison County also makes the list) for a cross-medium (why not!) “Gay or European?” double feature.

I’m stretching this double-feature conceit to shoehorn in a quasi-necessary correction here:

If we view physical museums as double features to the Hall of Fames they represent, then we can flashback to when I bemoaned the lack of a corresponding museum to accompany the un(der?)-known Theater Hall of Fame.

Well, I was wrong:

The Dorothy Strelsin Theater Hall of Fame Collection of theater memorabilia is displayed on the second floor lobby of the Gershwin Theatre. Twenty Two exhibition cases contain items donated by 60 Theater Hall of Fame inductees.”

So you’re telling me it’s locked behind Wicked tickets? Seems like it could stand to be blown out, which goes back to my “The New York Public Library for the Performing Arts at Lincoln Center” idea.

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