TOMB RAIDER (Roar Uthaug)

An action movie without a distinct personality is one thing, but having no personality at all?

A cinematic identity requires a chosen approach more than just generic blandness.

But thus is the fate of Roar Uthaug’s Tomb Raider reboot, which replaces the titular (pun intended) Angelina Jolie and her onscreen/offscreen papa Jon Voight with, respectively, the equally-adept Alicia Vikander (whose twisty career trajectory keeps proving she can basically do anything) and Dominic West.

Yet the actual movie fails not only them, but also the gaggle of British greats — Kristin Scott Thomas, Derek Jacobi, Nick Frost, etc. — whose glorified cameos inherently waste their superior talents. At least it provides Walton Goggins (I totally thought his name was WALTER) with yet another, albeit rare opportunity (I’ll totally never get bored with him) to villainously devour the poorly-CGI’d scenery.

Some may say he needed to chill, but I’d argue he’s simply compensating for the overbearing dullness around him. But you know what really needed to calm down? The ludicrously ridiculous (redundancy for emphasis!) score.

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